On President’s Day Weekend, Holly and I traveled to the National Memorial for the Unborn in Chattanooga, Tennessee. We hoped to gather a group of baby lost mothers we have met over the years, and hug them in person. As the day approached, however our group dwindled to only a few. It was a bit disappointing that those we hoped were coming cancelled at the last-minute, but the trip was still a blessing, and we were able to hug at least one mama. My pastor always says that even if only one person shows up, he would still teach the lesson. Well, in our case, only one person showed up when we drove from Ohio to Tennessee…one person to hug is still worth it!

As often happens, much of our trip did not go as planned…

We were excited on Friday, as we met up at Holly’s house and loaded her little girls into the van to begin our journey. We drove through the winding mountains, as Lainey and Kyndra fell asleep watching Dora. I attempted to help drive for a brief time, but we soon learned that it was best I remain in the passenger side. I was happy to release my white-knuckled grip on the wheel to Holly, who thankfully drove the remainder of the trip.

We listened to Beauty Will Rise and sang along with Chicago’s Greatest Hits as we wound through the mountains in the dark. We arrived at our hotel at 2:00a.m., and I went in to check in, so we could get the sleeping babies and our weary selves to bed. The less than pleasant man behind the desk of the Travelodge argued with me that I did not have a reservation. I knew that we did have a reservation, and I also knew that we had tired babies stirring in the van at two o’clock in the morning in a strange city far from home! Frustrated, I refused his offer to try to find us a room, and told Holly that we would be staying somewhere else. The Marriott was full. No room at the inn! So, we tried the Country Inn Suites, and they were happy to accommodate us. We stayed in a beautiful two room suite. Although the price was twice as much as what we would have paid at the Travelodge, it was worth it to have a safe, clean room.

The next morning, we prepared to meet up with the three remaining mamas planning to join us, and to receive a tour from Katrina at the National Memorial for the Unborn. I was looking forward to leaving some items from Sufficient Grace for her to use for the mothers they serve at the NMU, and to meet her and exchange ideas and information. Sadly, a family emergency meant that she was unable to meet us at the NMU for our tour. Another mother cancelled and we were down to two moms.

 

We drove passed this beautiful sign, and into the parking lot. The minute my boots touched the stones within the gate, I felt that I was standing on sacred ground.

More than 35, 000 lives ended on this property. Lives of babies without a voice. For 18 years, supporters of life joined their prayers for what was once an abortion clinic. For 18 years, they trusted and prayed…not giving up…as abortions continued. Then, when an opportunity came to buy the property, the Lord intervened and they took ownership. Today, what once was a place of darkness, is now a monument to honor the lives of the unborn…a place of hope and healing…a place to honor life. To read more about the incredible story of how this beautiful place came to be, click here.

 

In addition to remembering the lives of babies lost to abortion, there is a beautiful path lined with bricks to honor the lives of babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, and early infant death. Holly and I planned to lay bricks in memory of our children (Holly’s Carleigh and my Faith, Grace, and Thomas). However, our bricks did not arrive in time. We did choose the place where we would like to have our bricks. We chose a place by the beautiful pond to the right, as you enter the garden walkway.

 

We stopped along the path to honor the lives of Hope Wood’s little ones…

 

Lainey stopped to smell the roses…

Cecilia joined us. She is the only mama who kept the appointment to meet with us, and I’m so glad she did. It was so special to be able to hug this sweet mom in person, after walking with one another through grief for the past few years.

I wasn’t prepared for the emotion that consumed me as we entered the part of the memorial that honors the babies lost to abortion with the wall of names. After walking around a bit, I had a strong desire to get on my knees and worship the One who saves and redeems…the Giver of Life.

 

 

I knelt before the name of Holly’s sweet baby Jordan, and wept for the thousands of lives ended so soon. Then I lifted my voice to worship Him in song. I didn’t expect the strength of the grief, as I looked at the offerings laid at the memorial by mothers who had been broken by the pain of abortion…mothers seeking healing in this sacred place.

 

 

This beautiful picture, reminding of the Hope of Heaven, and the day when all empty arms will be filled hangs in the memorial.

This plaque sits in front of the large cross in the center of the room.

 

 

 

We enjoyed lunch with Cecilia at Olive Garden, and later went back to the hotel for some much-needed rest. We woke up ready for some fun. After a phone call to a local perinatal hospice, we chose to take the girls out for ice cream, picked out pretty dresses at TJ Maxx, and made dinner reservations for a  riverboat dinner cruise on the Southern Belle! The girls were tired, but it was still fun to hear the band covering some good tunes, especially from one of my favorites: Johnny Cash.

When we went to check out of the hotel Sunday morning, we were surprised to find that the hotel decided to only charge us for one night. I reminded them that we had stayed for two, but they still only charged for one. It was definitely one of those Daddy’s Little Girl Moments. God blessed us with a stay in a very nice hotel, for the price we would have paid at the Travelodge. We had a wonderful stay at the Country Inn Suites in Chattanooga.

 

 

 

 

I left a Dreams of You bag full of items for the local Perinatal Hospice, and we drove off into the rain. The rain soon turned to snow…heavy, Faith and Grace sized snow….while driving through the mountains….next to semis. I was grateful Holly was driving! Yes…I’m a total chicken.

 

Even with the glitches in our plans, the trip was a blessing, and I’m so grateful we were able to go. And, grateful we made it home safely!

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I just want to close this post with some personal thoughts. I try very hard not to get political on this blog. But, I’ve shared before that abortion, to me is not about politics. It is about the value of human life. I haven’t spent much of my life thinking of myself as a woman who made a choice, when life and death stood before me. To be honest, when I was a young, unwed teenage mother, I didn’t consider abortion. There were moments when I was afraid, but it wasn’t a choice we considered. Not because we are heroes. I can see why young mothers feel overwhelmed and confused. Abortion seems like an easy answer to the “problem”. It isn’t. Through Sufficient Grace, we have met mothers who have terminated their pregnancies. We have seen the added guilt that tears at their hearts as they walk through the indescribable grief. We have seen the brokenness.

I’m grateful for each Crisis Pregnancy Center and the other Christian organizations who support mothers, encouraging them to choose life…helping them find the support they need to keep their babies or give them to loving families through adoption. Every single life matters. Every life is created in the image of God.

As we prepare for our oldest son’s graduation, I am nostalgic, flooded with memories from my own graduation day. I was newly pregnant, although my classmates were unaware. I stood in the line of  honored graduates at church that morning, and lied to the kind people shaking my hand, as they offered their congratulations, telling them I would be attending college for music and theater in the fall. I walked to the tune of Pomp and Circumstance in my red gown, trying to hold back the morning sickness, and hopeful that my grandmother would not have to find out on this day about the surprise I carried within. She had high hopes for her first grandchild graduating with so much talent and potential. I wondered if my father would make it, and hoped he wouldn’t have to know yet, either. He didn’t make it. I started my graduation party by running upstairs and vomiting. My mother held me as I cried about all the things that weren’t going as planned. (For the record, it wasn’t the baby I regretted…never, not once….it was my own shame, not about him, but about the ways I had let others down.) My grandmother found out. More tears were shed. More disappointment on the faces around me. My friends all went out to celebrate. I stayed home. It was the beginning of everything being different.

And, it was the beginning of saving my life. Some people may wonder if having a baby when they are young would ruin their lives. It saved mine. You see, I was broken and hard-hearted with a bent for trouble by the time I was in high school. And, I found plenty of it. But, the minute I became a mother, I knew there was something bigger than me. I wanted to be better…to be the mother and wife my family needed. It was part of the journey that led me to the cross, on my face. It was there that all my sin was washed away by His blood, and I became a new creation.

What those who looked at me with such disappointment missed, was the truth that God was able to make all things new. And, another truth…there are all kinds of success. All kinds of potential. I may not have a lucrative career, may not have achieved fame by the world’s standards. I haven’t written a best seller, but I’ve written many words from my heart to encourage women. I don’t sing on Broadway, but I would much rather lift my voice in worship alongside my husband. Tim, who still had a year of high school to go when I walked to the podium to get my diploma, worked hard to graduate and worked even harder for his entire adult life to provide for our little family. We stayed married (for almost 18 years, now)  in families with generations of divorce as our legacy. They saw lost potential on my graduation day. God saw something else…a brokenness He could use to restore and heal…to make beauty from ashes. Mothers who are considering trading the life of your baby for whatever success the world offers, trust me when I say….it won’t be worth it.

The baby I carried on the day of my comencement is now 18 years old, and preparing for his own graduation day at the same high school his father and I attended.  He is one of the greatest gifts of my life. I cannot imagine this world without him in it. He has taught me so much, from the moment he was born. There is nothing more valuable and precious than seeing the young man he has become.

Right now, in the state of Ohio, we have an opportunity to choose life for unborn babies. Please encourage your Congress to vote Yes for the Heartbeat Bill, and please consider the preciousness of human life as you cast your vote on Tuesday.

I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;

Deuteronomy 30:19