Lies Women Believe about Circumstances

This week on the Lies Women Believe (Nancy Leigh DeMoss), we will be covering Chapter 9, Lies Women Believe about Circumstances. I love the truths we are going to talk about this week. The basis for true joy lies not in our circumstances, but in keeping our eyes fixed on our unchanging, steadfast Savior. It is a great follow-up for last week’s study on emotions. Next week, we are going to finish up this study and announce the next book we will be covering.

Lie 36: If my circumstances were different, I would be different.

How many times have we found ourselves saying…If only things were different, I wouldn’t feel this way? If only….I would be happy, content, satisfied, full of joy, more patient, more loving, etc. The truth is that there is joy for us, right now in this moment. There is a way to be content and grateful for what God has given us right now. It’s time to let go of the what-ifs and if-onlys and focus on the blessings before us.

The Truth:
I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ~ Philippians 4:11-12

Lie 37: I shouldn’t have to suffer.

Who do we think we are, anyway? Why should we be any more exempt from suffering than anyone else? Don’t get me wrong…I’m not a fan of suffering, and I don’t know anyone who would ask for it. It’s natural to have questions during suffering, but we must come to the point where we realize, as Job did that we were not there when God created the earth.We are not God. We do not know His ways….but we know He is good, and worthy of our praise…both in the giving and in the taking away.  God never promised this life to be easy. In fact, quite the opposite. He tells us not to be surprised by the fiery trials. I’m not saying God sends trouble upon us, but trouble exists as a result of our fallen world. And, He allows and uses those trials and suffering to perfect, strengthen, and establish us. We serve Jesus…we choose to follow Him. In doing so, we choose to die to ourselves, to take up our cross, to partake of His suffering. Scripture tells us to “count the cost”….to know what we are getting into before making this choice. He doesn’t promise easy…but He does promise to carry us, to meet us and equip us, to cover us, to grow us, and to prepare a place for us in Heaven’s glory at the end of this journey. The truth is…there will be trouble in this life. “The rain falls on the just and the unjust”. None are exempt from it. But, I would rather walk through it all with Him than without Him, wouldn’t you?

I bought this wall-hanging last week at one of my new favorite stores, Kirklands. It sort of sums it up:

  The Truth:
The God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. ~ Peter 5:10
                                                                                                                                                                Lie 38: My circumstances will never change. This will go on forever.
Dinah and my mother both used to always say, “This didn’t come to stay. It came to pass.” I like that. One thing that many bereaved moms want to know at some point in their grieving is, “Will I always feel this way? Will I laugh again, feel joy, feel normal?” It can be some comfort, especially during tough times, to know that this season we are in will not last forever. The seasons of our life are constantly changing. Just as Ecclesiastes tells us, “there is a time to mourn…and a time to dance. To everything, there is a season.”
It’s also important to remember, no matter how difficult our circumstances may be, this life is a blip in the grand scheme of eternity. That is not always an easy truth…and in the midst of the suffering, it feels long and unbearable. But, eternity will come, and all of the promises that go with it. One day, this life and all it’s struggles will seem so short…just a distant memory.
The Truth:
Therefore we do not lost heart, for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Lie 39: I can’t take it anymore.
Ugg…I’m putting this under the category of “I don’t wanna”. And, you know the answer to that, as Dinah would say: ”Cowboy up, Chicken Little…and just do the next thing.” (I also enjoy a little “man up” as stated in this week’s message by our beloved Pastor James. And another good one…”put your big girl pants on”…another saying shared in a conversation with a friend this week.) Another thing I have to say…to myself especially when I feel an “I can’t” coming on…what’s the alternative? This is your life. These are your circumstances. ”I can’t” isn’t an option.
The Truth:
His grace is sufficient for me. (2 Corinth. 12:9) As Nancy wrote, “His divine resources are available to meet your need – no matter how great. That’s the Truth. And the Truth will set you free.
Lie 40: It’s all about me.
Blech. Our culture is so “me centered”…putting so much emphasis on our own comfort, happiness, satisfaction, etc. Do you know something? I think this is one of Satan’s great joy stealers. The more effort we put toward satisfying ourselves, the less happy and fulfilled we are. Isn’t that interesting? In fact, the more we give, serve, and look beyond ourselves to others, the more freedom and joy we experience. My friend Betsy likes to say, “Me time is overrated.” I’ve always loved that.
Love Nancy’s words here about the Truth:
“The Truth is, it’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s all about Him. The Truth may not change your circumstances – at least not here and now – but it will change you. Truth will set you free.”
*Next week will be the final installment of the Lies Women Believe study. Please stay tuned as we announce the next book we will be covering. I hope this has been an encouragement to you, and maybe some of you will join in with us for the next study…to be announced soon, along with a giveaway. =)


  1. I just finished reading this chapter. I can't believe it's coming to an end already. I'm so glad I was able to read along with you. It made reading so much more fun.

    I realized while reading this chapter that I have the "me" syndrome. Ugh! I never thought I was selfish. But, I read somewhere the other day that you will never find a person with an anxiety disorder that isn't focused completely upon themselves and if I'm honest, I have to say that is true. I think I just wanted so badly for someone to see how bad I was hurting after the loss of my Mom and maybe even anxiety has been something I'm holding on to because it's like me saying, "Don't you people realize I'm still hurting over here?!" It's just something I was thinking about and I really think it's just something the Lord is working on with me so He can get me to where He needs me to be. :)

  2. Those are some seriously convicting lies!

  3. Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries says:

    I'm so glad you were reading along with us, too, Kristin! I think it makes a big difference to be in it together! I really appreciated your input, and perseverance. Man…what you said about anxiety hit home for me. That is so true! We do have to be focused on ourselves to let anxiety take over, don't we? Wow…I need to let that truth sink in….and remember it next time I feel those thoughts taking over. I love that God doesn't give up on us! He keeps teaching us…keeps meeting us where we are. So grateful for that.

    Mary…I'm with you…very convicting stuff!

  4. Jennifer Ross says:

    I read this chapter Friday. Ha! How do you like that?!! lol I was so proud of myself! lol

    Anyway, When I read, "I Just Can't Take It Any More," I got a little chuckle. I could have wrote that piece myself! :) On page 228, I think I shook my head in agreement to filling in the blank to where we are or have been. Nancy began writing His grace is sufficient, and it took me back to the time I began my blog. That's the main reason that I named it, "His Grace Is Sufficient." I knew that it was the truth, but I also was praying to get to the point in where I could encourage others that you can face any pain/grief in life, if you grasp the grace of God.

    One of my favorite sentences in this chapter is, "I may not be able to control my circumstances, but my circumstances do not have to control me."

    This was a very good chapter!

  5. Jennifer says:

    To be a "victim of circumstance" is something we all feel from time to time. I guess it is a trap we fall into, or I know I do. My mantra since finishing this chapter is God's grace is sufficient to see me through. Everytime I have felt overwhelmed in the last few days I have chanted this in my head. It helps. This chapter really did hit home with me in many aspects and ways.

  6. Cherie Hill says:

    Found your blog through Heart Choices . . . so glad I did! I'll be stopping by more often for encouragement in my faith walk!

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