When Human Beings Disappoint

I’m one of those people. You know the ones.

I like to believe the best about people…to believe that others will do what they say they will do. And that they will be the people they profess to be. You can imagine the disappointment experienced on a daily basis from this assumption.

It is a difficult thing, and placing expectations on another soul is never a good idea. Not unless you enjoy disappointment. In that case, by all means. Still…shouldn’t we strive to keep our word, to be the who we say we are? If we can, on most occasions…shouldn’t we?

Something lately, I’ve been wrestling with, is not only the disappointment that occurs when others take an unexpected path, or fail to keep their word. Even as I type those words, I am convicted, myself, about the times when I let someone else down. I wonder if others feel the same conviction. I would like to think so…you know, believing the best, and all. I suppose we can’t do a lot about the motives in the heart of another. Ours is only to wonder. We cannot fully know. Only God can.

It is something I’ve watched often, even in circles of ministry and serving. Motives that start pure, or seem to…and then go awry or grow weary, or get distracted…or plans that sometimes get snatched away completely. It causes me to consider how important it is to abide closely to the Lord, listening intently, waiting on His timing…and not grasping something that isn’t yet ours to hold…before it’s time.

We human beings do that from time to time. I’ve been surprised by that…the grasping. It never fits quite as well, as when we wait on the Lord. His plans are always better, anyway.

As far as the motives of people’s hearts…I like what The Voice has to say in I Corinthians 4:5:

“So resist the temptation to act as judges before all the evidence is in. When the Lord comes, He will draw our buried motives, thoughts, and deeds (even things we don’t know or admit to ourselves) out of the dark shadows of our hearts into His light. When this happens, the voice of God will speak to each of us the only praise that will ever matter.”

It can be a painful thing, when someone else has displayed wrong motives, taken something that wasn’t theirs to hold yet, wounded you with false promises, unmet expectations, leaving you disappointed.

But God knows. God sees.

The thing is, some people’s ways are all messed up. And, some choices leave a path of broken trailing behind them.

Psalm 37 is great one for reflecting on how to work through that broken trail.
The Voice ~ Psalm 37:1-2
Don’t be worried with evil workers
or envy the gains of people with all-wrong-upside-down ways.
Soon enough they will wither like grass,
like green herbs fading in summer’s heat.

And, Psalm 37 NKJ
Trust in the Lord, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday.
Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,

The narrow path is a lonely one to walk. Opportunities to gain resources, popularity, finances…there are so many ways to gain such advances through compromise dangled in front of us like a carrot on a string. We could choose that path and prosper in our way much quicker as well. But, it is much better to wait on the Lord, to resist the temptation to grasp what He has not yet given. Watching others prosper as they make such choices can lead to discouragement. Best to remember, instead, the One who gives completely and securely when He gives it…the One with an unshakeable foundation. To dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Trust Him…do not fret.

Remember His ways are not our ways…but they are much better.

Lydia Brownback says it well:
“We can get a lot of things by sidestepping God’s ways, but whatever we get in wrong ways will bring only more misery.”

Instead of comparing, or allowing wounds to fester….though it may genuinely grieve our spirit to watch…better to wait on the Lord. Better always to rest in His ways.

Help Send SGM to PLIDA 2014

We have a dream, a vision, to change the way we care for bereaved parents walking through the loss of a baby at any gestation and through infancy. We are seeing that vision become reality as more of our volunteers become trained birth and bereavement doulas and remembrance photographers, offering support and beautiful memory-making resources each year to hundreds of families, and a growing number of hospitals.

We are training hospitals to use our comprehensive SGM Perinatal Hospice Birth and Bereavement Services, expanding SGM Branches in other locations. Entering in. Coming alongside bereaved parents.

Because no one should walk this path alone.

doula brooklyn

Because every life matters.

because every life matters pic

Every life is worthy of honor, worth remembering.

This year, SGM has the opportunity to attend the PLIDA conference in San Antonio, Texas, the worldwide renowned conference on perinatal hospice and palliative care. We wanted to attend two years ago, but the precious funds we gather from our amazing supporters are needed to continue this sacred work of supporting families. This year, we are facing the same dilemma. But, in our great passion to grow this outreach, so that more families receive compassionate care, more hospitals are properly equipped to offer resources and understand the needs of bereaved parents, more precious and tangible memories can be shared as parents say hello and goodbye to their precious babies, we feel it is important to attend this conference. And, not only to attend, but to have a table representing SGM at the conference.

So that the next family doesn’t come to us after their loss, saying…
“I wish we would’ve known this support was available. I wish I would’ve known you were here.”

This conference is the most effective way to help spread the word, that these amazing resources are here. And, to connect with other like-minded birth professionals in order to better serve grieving families.

How amazing would it be to see little SGM represented at such a beautiful and worthwhile event? (It’s possible. We might be little girls, but we have a BIG God!) Will you help us attend by giving a donation, and/or spreading the word?

You can use the donate button here to give to this campaign:

To the Nurses, the Caregivers…We See

brooklyn footprints

Yesterday on the SGM Facebook page, we shared a blog post from Adventures of a Labor Nurse called, When There’s Nothing to Celebrate. Her words were real and raw and so true in describing what it is like for the caregivers when a baby dies. Most nurses don’t choose to work in OB to deal [...]

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Mother of all Mothers Book Review/Giveaway!!

You are the mother of all mothers

CONTEST CLOSED: CONGRATULATIONS TO CECILIA LONG!! Please email your shipping address to sgm dot shipping at gmail dot com   “You were chosen to be your child’s mother. Yes – chosen. And no one could parent your child better in life or in death than you do.” ~ Angela Miller, You are the Mother of [...]

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The Wounding Human Beings Inflict…and What to Do With all the Broken

We who wander on planet earth have all been wounded at some point by another human being. The deepest cuts, the ones that take the longest to heal, are from those we love. We all wound one another at some point. With our words, our actions, our indifference. We all take the sacred gift one [...]

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Why Can’t You Just Get Past It?

“I don’t understand mothers who lose a child. Why can’t you just get past it?” People have whispered these words about me in conversation, especially in the early days after losing our babies, measuring grief “performance” by how much I spoke of my children or how easily tears came, or whether or not I was [...]

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Finding Purpose in the Pain


I have walked with thousands of mothers over the course of the last decade. Mothers who have said goodbye to their sweet babies, who often, after the initial shock and devastation of grief, find themselves longing to mother…to birth something beautiful from the pain, to find the purpose in her child’s life…and through her loss. [...]

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Operation Support Sufficient Grace 2014

in memory3_edited

Some beautiful, amazing support has been displayed during Operation Support Sufficient Grace 2014. Our last big fundraiser of this season is coming up, and we would love to see the outpouring of support continue for this organization. We do not take government grants or support, so our donations come mainly from individuals and some private [...]

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Grace Rebel

grace rebel

I’m wondering how to speak these words tumbling and churning inside, begging for release. The trouble is, the conveying…the truly nailing it on the head with explanation. Lately, I’m feeling rebellious. And, by lately, I mean for several years now. These molds we try to force ourselves into. They aren’t fitting. Just like when we [...]

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A Grace Rebel’s Mother’s Day Survival List for Grieving Hearts

I’ve said it many times before, that expectations may be listed right up there with money as the “root of all evil”. Expectations, like those we have on “special days” set aside to honor us…birthdays, Mother’s Day…or holidays that really weren’t ever meant to honor us, but we’ve somehow claimed with our expectations…like Christmas and [...]

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