Over the last couple months we’ve had the honor of walking with the Wilhelm family as they waited to meet their son, Micah. I will let Micah’s mother, Jenna, share the details of their story below. But I wanted to share a bit from my own heart about our time with this beautiful family.
Besides the beauty of this couple, inside and out, I was struck by the love and support they exemplify with one another and their family. The faith and love they share is so evident in the way they’ve walked this journey. We had the pleasure of several conversations over the last couple months as Jenna and Nate planned the birth of Micah and the time they would spend with him.
During Micah’s delivery shortly after we arrived at the hospital, I waited with his grandparents as SGM Remembrance Photographer, Brittany, took pictures of his welcoming and baptism. Jenna had handed me a bag of items that their family and friends had gifted them as they waited to meet Micah. She wanted pictures taken with Micah and each of the items. As we talked and waited in the hallway, I took out some of the contents and asked about the story behind them. The first thing was a teddy bear, given by Jenna’s father. He said it was a tradition in his family that the grandfather give a teddy bear to his grandchild, a tradition he wanted to continue. It touched my heart, the meaning behind the bear that would be given to sweet Micah…and the meaning behind the other gifts as well. There was book from grandma, a cross from the other grandma, and several other special mementos from aunts and others. There was also a tiny Indian toy that had been one of Daddy Nate’s favorites as a young boy according to his mother. The toy came with the movie, Indian in the Cupboard, that Nate used to watch as a child. The tiny Indian would be placed with Micah in one of his pictures.
The bag represented the dreams they had for Micah, and it was an opportunity to celebrate him in the ways that a first child and grandchild should be celebrated. It was an honor to meet Micah, to help his family celebrate his life, to stand with them on the sacred ground where heaven meets earth…and to capture a lifetime of love and memories that will be forever cherished by those who loved him. The Wilhelm family is such a wonderful example of embracing the gift of time they were given with their child. I’m so grateful for the love shared within his beautiful family. ~ Kelly, SGM Support Companion/Doula
The following was posted from Jenna a week after Micah’s birth.
“This is an update regarding our family and what we have been experiencing the past few months. A week ago today, we welcomed a beautiful baby boy named Micah Andrew. He was born via c section at 37 and half weeks old. It is with sadness today that we buried him. Although we only had a short time with him (as he only lived a couple of hours), we loved and embraced every minute of it. He was a miracle child in every sense of the phrase.
At 13 weeks we were told at a specialist appointment (which we had gone for something else, a treatable issue) that his chest cavity did not develop and that his organs were forming outside of his body. We received support from the doctors and were told this was random and was not caused by anything we did. We were told that it was very rare (~1-20-30,000). We were also told to terminate the pregnancy as it would not result in anything but pain, heartache, and ultimately his death (not to mention a probable c section delivery). We were told there was pretty much no chance he’d make it full term due to the severity of this fatal diagnosis.
When we chose to continue with the pregnancy, we were given love and support by our families and the doctors, which we will forever be grateful. Despite all odds against him, Micah kept growing.
To say this was/is the most difficult thing Nate and I have been through is an understatement, but we also say with complete confidence that we were able to experience moments of pure joy. God’s hand was in this the entire time, allowing us to feel Micah kick/move often, develop a personality/respond to our voices, and allowing us to love and celebrate this baby as he should be. Carrying a child, was incredible, and unfortunately it is a blessing some families do not get to experience. For that we are grateful. Micah made it to full term, was delivered safely, and baptized. We were able to spend time holding him and loving him. Grandparents were able to meet him as well. Through God’s mercy, Micah was at such peace, we were unable to tell exactly when he passed.
This post was meant to accomplish many things. First and foremost, Nate and I ask out of respect that this does not turn into a pro-life vs pro-choice argument board out of respect for our son and family as this is not the intent of this post. We’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone (friends, families, churches) for the continued love, prayers, support, gifts/cards etc…It truly has shown what wonderful people we have in our lives. We’d like to thank the doctors for their wisdom, skills, and support/love with this pregnancy. We could not have asked for a better medical team and experience given the circumstances of this pregnancy. We would like to thank Kelly Gerken and Sufficient Grace Ministries for their support. This is truly a wonderful and selfless organization. Nate and I encourage anyone given a difficult circumstance with pregnancy to contact Kelly. They provided many items we are able to keep in memory of Micah, supported us at the hospital, took pictures of our beautiful baby, and countless other things. If you are looking for a great cause to donate to, again please consider this organization, as unfortunately Nate and I have found that many families have dealt with similar situations (many more than we initially realized).
And last but definitely not least, we thank God and our Savior Jesus Christ for his mercy through these past few months, allowing our boy to beat odds so we could meet him, and giving Nate and I strength when we did not have it. Micah means “Who is like God?” and our answer to this is absolutely no one. He is all powerful, merciful, all-knowing, faithful…he is EVERYTHING. We were blessed to see all aspects of life… from the beginning to the end, and it is because of Jesus we are confident we will see and hold him again.
Please feel free to like/share this post, as encouragement for those who have been or will be given difficult situations with their pregnancies. Let this serve as encouragement if you are able to/choose to continue with those pregnancies…that although it will be difficult, there are opportunities for joy and happiness to come from it.
Thank you again- love Jenna and Nate”
For more information about the perinatal hospice services offered by Sufficient Grace Ministries, please click here.
Under that link, you will also find information about birth planning, memorial planning, and other resources if you are carrying a baby with a life-limiting diagnosis. You can also request Dreams of You memory-making resources here.
*Thank you to Brittany Yankowski (SGM Remembrance Photographer) for taking these beautiful images of the Wilhelm Family.